from my state – literally and figuratively – and other places. i'm not in florida any more, but i haven't given up the sunshine.


one night love affair

more than a few of my friends and acquaintances have commented that they have had or have a longish-term relationship that they initially thought would only be a one night stand. i have to say the same is true for myself. over at unwellness, bri mentions that her partner thought the same.

*most* of the people i know who’ve said something like this are lesbians… hence the uhaul joke, i suppose.

despite the fact that i’ve never had a one night stand, i think when i made this assumption it was based mostly on what was going on in my life at the time and the geographical location of the person involved. a relationship didn’t seem entirely logical. but, alas, that’s precisely what it became. there was a connection that was simply unavoidable.

as i’m inclined to think that a pattern is something more than coincidence, i’m curious: anyone have an experience you'd be willing to share? a one night stand and/or relationship that was expected to be just a fun-filled evening? is the assumption of a one nighter a self-preservation mechanism? after all, rejection is a lot easier to take when that’s all there is at stake. or is it something else…


Blogger Sublime said...

well, I can relate to that, I thought my current relationship would be just a ONS on a vacation time, but I didn't know he was going to be like he is, and here I am, one month and days later still with him (althoug we live apart) and becoming more and more in love with him :)

5/17/2006 11:21:00 AM

Blogger Trista said...

well, I can relate to that, too. I met Kristin on-line, at a time when I was planning on playing the field and getting in as much fun and sexual experience as I had denied myself for so many years. When we first met, I thought I had screwed up so badly with her (REALLY bad first impression) that I just figured I'd blown it and just let everything hang out thinking I'd never see this woman again.

Five (going on six) years later...

I think maybe (and perhaps I'm just generalizing here) that with the pressure off of having this person possibly being "the one" and just going in to have a good time, relaxes a lot of things and lets people connect without all the expectation and falseness that can derail a meeting with someone you think could be "forever".

Or maybe the sex is just too good to let go of.

5/17/2006 04:56:00 PM

Blogger Miss Kris said...

Well, with Asher (remember him? why did I let him go!), I totally thought it was going to be a one-time hook-up. Same thing with Doug. I thought Doug was just going to be a friend with benefits since we had been friends for a few months.

I made the assumption in both cases that it wasn't going to turn into a relationship because I didn't want a relationship at the time. I was horny and wanted to get some - plain & simple. I almost regret letting them turn into relationships but won't go there because I must have learned a lesson from being in the relationship, right?

5/17/2006 07:41:00 PM

Blogger Cindy said...

I agree with Trista. There is something about having the pressure off. Alicia and I were group socializing and had one group night that materialized into a "date". I invited her up for coffee...heading towards six years now.

In the end, you should never question something that works even for a time. That all go in to making you you.

5/18/2006 08:13:00 AM

Blogger betsy said...

thanks for the stories! it's kind of interesting that we aren't more deliberate, more often about something so potentially life changing. but i suppose these things are are hard to predict.

5/18/2006 09:08:00 AM


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