from my state – literally and figuratively – and other places. i'm not in florida any more, but i haven't given up the sunshine.

7.14.2006

what's up, slut?

this sentence – “a promiscuous single man is lauded for being a player or a stud, but a woman who sleeps around rarely is.” – seems like one that should be from an article written in the 50s. but it was front and center yesterday on nytimes.com. the article discusses the now popular use of the word slut – it’s thrown around the same way southern women throw around ‘sugar’, ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’. yet, the article contends that the male/female sex double standard still holds. (it also explores the dichotomy between the popularization of young girls dressing in sexually explicit ways modeling while being expected to refrain from participating in sexual activity.)

the slut concept is interesting. it seems like an irrelevant term in my own circles – how much and with how many isn’t so important, unless someone is hurting others or herself. i suspect the same holds true for the boys i know (two of whom i know would prefer to discuss their poop habits, but i’m sure they talk about sex too) on the other hand, i know girls who live by the one hand rule – as in you’d better be able to count the number of people you’ve slept with on one hand and the last of the five better be the one you marry.

the collective at wikipedia has a definition for slut, not including parameters. do you think in terms of slut or not? by what definition?

11 Comments:

Blogger cocoa said...

I don't really think in terms of being a slut or not. And for some reason I would apply it more to a het woman, not so much a lesbian, if that makes sense.

It seems to me that it's used more by men to insult women. But that's probably just in my world.

7/14/2006 08:10:00 AM

 
Blogger Cindy said...

Why would it apply more in a het world? Men may use it as a direct insult, but women use it as a gossip related judgement.

We would like to think we lesbos are more open to having multiple partners, but in the end I think we are generally just as judgemental.

The flip to sleeping around is often serial monogamy, which might be another blog topic all together.

7/14/2006 09:19:00 AM

 
Blogger Kiker said...

It seems to me that there is a huge difference (in the terms of other people's perceptions) between a girl who has multiple partners and is completely in control of who, where, when and even how and a girl that is spreading her love (so to speak) out of desperation or sheer intoxication or something of that nature.

In the scenarios I have encountered (lesbian scenarios), the first is a player and the second is a slut.

7/14/2006 09:46:00 AM

 
Blogger Amy said...

Serial monogamy - a more loaded phrase I've rarely heard.
--
The perception of an adult is based almost entirely on the reality they form for themselves. If one is complete and comfortable with such choices, one may choose to partake in whatever activities one chooses. It is the attitude about such choices that will be reflected in other's perceptions.

A strong, honest person will likely overcome whatever terms others use to deter them from the choices they wish to make. This applies, of course, across the spectrum to those whose choices put them in multiples beds in a week and those whose choices put them in waiting for a single mate.
--
Bottom line: We're old. The "kids" are getting to us the way they are suppose to.

7/14/2006 10:13:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't think that a women has to be "sleeping around" to be considered a slut... i define a slut as a girl who does one or omre of the following:
1. intentionally flirts with people who are in a relationship
2. goes out with the sole purpose of making out with someone every weekend(or night)
3. sleeps around for attention rather than the for the love of sex and/or women

7/14/2006 10:32:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... and the list could go on and on

7/14/2006 10:32:00 AM

 
Anonymous Blind Tooth said...

you really shouldn't talk about Jess like this........ (i think i have my funny pants on today)

7/14/2006 11:08:00 AM

 
Blogger betsy said...

you people love to talk sex!

i totally think slut is used much more in the het world. but that's probably because we're socialized to think of 'slut' in those terms. add gay to the equation and it's a whole new ballgame.

and why is someone with multiple partners necessarily a player? amy -- we are adults being played by the kids. scary, right?

seems there is a common theme, once we're old enough to put some thought into it, that promiscuity is less related to numbers and more related to intention.

and to my pirate friend -- i was trying not to name names ;)

7/14/2006 06:36:00 PM

 
Anonymous Blind Tooth said...

ARRRRGH!!

7/14/2006 10:24:00 PM

 
Blogger gordonpitt said...

I have always thought that the word " slut" is usually used by people who have incredibly, dull lives, and are intensely jealous of others who are enjoying their brief time on earth.

7/18/2006 04:48:00 AM

 
Blogger betsy said...

thank you for that...

7/18/2006 05:35:00 AM

 

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